If you’ve ever read a bad pub review online, chances are it doesn’t come close to this.
A customer has left a brutally funny one-star review of The Lancaster Gate in Preston, comparing a Friday night outside the pub to a David Attenborough wildlife documentary and describing the venue as a place where “no safari is required.”
Rather than taking offence, the pub’s management saw the funny side and decided to share the review on social media, where it quickly caught the attention of thousands.
“No Safari Required”
The review paints a colourful picture of life at the popular Preston pub.
The customer joked that if Sir David Attenborough ever ran out of wildlife documentaries, he should simply spend a Friday night outside The Lancaster Gate.
According to the review, visitors should “approach carefully and avoid sudden movements,” before launching into a tongue-in-cheek description of the pub’s atmosphere.
Karaoke Gets a Mention
Perhaps the biggest target was the pub’s karaoke nights.
The reviewer joked that it takes “unbelievable confidence” to completely butcher every song while friends cheer as though the performance is taking place at Wembley Stadium.
They also claimed the microphone sounded like it had survived a house fire, adding to the colourful description of the evening’s entertainment.
Despite the criticism, it’s exactly this over-the-top humour that has helped the review spread online.
“Makes Every Other Pub Feel Like The Ritz”
The customer didn’t stop there.
They described the beer garden as resembling “a failed zoo enclosure” before claiming every other pub in Lancashire suddenly felt like The Ritz by comparison.
The review even joked that the venue deserved one star only because “the noise scared the local foxes away.”
While the comments were clearly written with humour in mind, they quickly became a talking point among pub-goers online.
The Pub’s Brilliant Response
Instead of getting defensive, The Lancaster Gate embraced the joke.
Sharing the review on social media, the pub simply replied:
“What a lovely review! Really captures the magic of Lancaster Gate, Preston.”
The light-hearted response won praise from customers, many applauding the venue for laughing along rather than taking the criticism personally.
Pub Banter at Its Finest
Every pub has its characters, noisy Friday nights and unforgettable karaoke performances, and that’s exactly why this review has struck a chord with so many people.
Whether you think it’s brutally honest or comedy gold, one thing is certain…
It’s probably one of the funniest pub reviews you’ll read this year.
